Humble in Victory, Gracious in Defeat

I was a loser in college.  Yup, check the records, in each sport I participated in, I was a big loser.  On second thought, they probably have burned the records by now.

When I was fourteen, I tried out for and made the Arvco International junior soccer team.  This was a select group of teenagers from around Kalamazoo, Michigan who excelled in soccer and traveled around the state on the weekends.  I still remember that first jersey, red and white vertical stripes with the number 14 on the back.  I also remember playing fullback and while trying to clear a ball, having it slip off the side of my foot for an own goal.  They kept me around until I graduated from high school, and I was fortunate enough to play in college for the Olivet College Comets.

Our first season was solid, winning as many games as we lost or tied.  We played in a league that featured two highly ranked Division III teams, Calvin and Hope Colleges.  It kind of fell apart half way through my sophomore year with a bad losing streak to end the season.  The non-winning streak continued the next season and then the next.  We managed to tie a few games but victory was something we did not experience.  In fact, check the record book, I believe they went three more seasons without a win.

This experience and a few more taught me valuable life lessons about why we do the things we do.  It gave me a base of humbleness and one of introspection.  It’s easy as a parent to insulate our children from losing, but having them know that you are supporting them in success as well as failure is even more important.  Our children need a sense of stability and structure that only we as parents can provide.  Rather than ask how many goals you scored, or what your batting average is, we need to ask them if they gave it their all.

I know that while playing soccer or other sports on teams that were not successful can create stress and even a sense of failure, but we as parents need to place the focus elsewhere.  Our children need to know it is OK to fail and that we have failed in our lives.  True growth comes from learning from your past mistakes.  Did I mention I also played tennis in college.  My record of 2-23 REALLY made me very humble.  I did more apologizing to my opponent than celebrating.

I’m not sure if Olivet College is still in the Division III NCAA soccer record book anymore and I’m not really going to research that, but the experience is one that helped make me who I am today.

* Last year the Olivet College Comets were nationally ranked!