Kids Do Say the Darndest Things!

Art Linkletter was well known for his interviews of children on his radio and television shows, House Party and Kids Say the Darndest Things.  Amy and I were honored to hear him speak in 2001 in Los Angeles.  He told his favorite “kid quotes” from those shows and they were hilarious.  As educators, we hear lots of stories from children as well.  Here are a few of my favorites…

My second year of teaching at Clark Elementary School in Charlottesville, Virginia was challenging due to sheer numbers.  I had twenty-nine students that year.  A part time teacher was hired to assist me in teaching reading and language arts.  That year I had Bobby, one of my all-time favorite students.  Bobby was legally blind.  His parents were both blind since birth.  Down the road from Clark was a company who hired visually impaired employees and both of his parents worked there.  It was a short walk from their house.  One Monday, Bobby came into class with a big bandage on his head.  I asked what had happened, and he told me this…”My Mom and Dad took me for a drive Sunday and got into an accident.”  So, I was thinking to myself, “uh, both are blind…hmmm, should I ask?”  Of course, I did.  It seems they inherited a car from a seeing family member.  Bobby explained, Dad would load everyone in the car on Sundays and pull forward until he bumped the house, then back up until he bumped the garage.  Apparently, on the last ride he bumped the house a little too hard.

Then there was the kindergarten boy who told me just how tired his father was every afternoon.  “He comes home, puts down his briefcase, gets a drink, and then falls asleep until dinner.”

I enjoy giving riddles for students to solve.  Here is one and the surprise answer;  “What do you cut at the table, but do not eat?”  The answer I was looking for was a deck of cards.  The answer I got was, “Dad’s credit cards.”

And a little bathroom humor…

I picked up my phone one day in June several summers ago to hear the following…”Mr. J, I pooped in the potty, I pooped in the potty!”  This was from a rising pre-kindergarten student whose mother had told her, “Mr. Jackson says you cannot go to big girl’s school until you poop in the potty.”  Mission accomplished!

So kids aren’t the only ones who come up with some funny stuff.  My third year teaching, Sherry came into my class about 30 minutes late and handed me the following explanation from her mother, “Sherry is late due to tardiness.”

I’ll keep adding to my list of funnies…who knows, you or your child could be in the next blog!