Humble in Victory, Gracious in Defeat

I was a loser in college.  Yup, check the records, in each sport I participated in, I was a big loser.  On second thought, they probably have burned the records by now.

When I was fourteen, I tried out for and made the Arvco International junior soccer team.  This was a select group of teenagers from around Kalamazoo, Michigan who excelled in soccer and traveled around the state on the weekends.  I still remember that first jersey, red and white vertical stripes with the number 14 on the back.  I also remember playing fullback and while trying to clear a ball, having it slip off the side of my foot for an own goal.  They kept me around until I graduated from high school, and I was fortunate enough to play in college for the Olivet College Comets.

Our first season was solid, winning as many games as we lost or tied.  We played in a league that featured two highly ranked Division III teams, Calvin and Hope Colleges.  It kind of fell apart half way through my sophomore year with a bad losing streak to end the season.  The non-winning streak continued the next season and then the next.  We managed to tie a few games but victory was something we did not experience.  In fact, check the record book, I believe they went three more seasons without a win.

This experience and a few more taught me valuable life lessons about why we do the things we do.  It gave me a base of humbleness and one of introspection.  It’s easy as a parent to insulate our children from losing, but having them know that you are supporting them in success as well as failure is even more important.  Our children need a sense of stability and structure that only we as parents can provide.  Rather than ask how many goals you scored, or what your batting average is, we need to ask them if they gave it their all.

I know that while playing soccer or other sports on teams that were not successful can create stress and even a sense of failure, but we as parents need to place the focus elsewhere.  Our children need to know it is OK to fail and that we have failed in our lives.  True growth comes from learning from your past mistakes.  Did I mention I also played tennis in college.  My record of 2-23 REALLY made me very humble.  I did more apologizing to my opponent than celebrating.

I’m not sure if Olivet College is still in the Division III NCAA soccer record book anymore and I’m not really going to research that, but the experience is one that helped make me who I am today.

* Last year the Olivet College Comets were nationally ranked!

At the Core of Being Grateful

All across America, we will be sitting down to a big Thanksgiving meal and sharing what we are most grateful for in our lives.  Near the top of the list for me is being grateful to lead an independent school.  Having the opportunity to lead outstanding educators in knowing precisely what is needed to teach our children well.  Being independent allows us to teach to each child’s needs.  We have been preparing students for high schools in this manner for a very long time and doing it exceptionally well.

Our friends in the public schools have lost the opportunity to teach what they feel is important due to the Common Core Curriculum.  When we lose control over who we are, what we do, and how we do it, we are lost.  Adrift.  Wandering. 

I have collected three quotes about the Common Core from experts in education who are far smarter than me.  This is what they had to say;

“The curriculum is to schooling as blueprints are to builders, as maps are to travelers, as patterns are to clothing manufacturers, as models are to designers, complicated by the fact that what needs to be understood is dynamic, therefore impossible to model with a static curriculum.”  Marion Brady

“Some states adopted them without seeing a finished draft. The standards, unfortunately, were never field-tested. No one knew in advance whether they would improve achievement or depress it, whether they would widen or narrow the achievement gap among children of different races. It is hard to imagine a major corporation releasing a new product nationwide without first testing it among consumers to see if it is successful. But that is what happened with the Common Core standards.” Diane Ravitch

“However, for me there are two far bigger problems with the Standards themselves – errors that arguably caused the bulk of the current backlash. The writers of the Standards (especially in Math) did a terrible job of 1) justifying the Standards as appropriate to college and workplace readiness, and 2) explaining in detail what the Standards imply for educational practice. The documents simply fail at communicating the kinds of changes the Standards demand locally.” Grant Wiggins

While the debate rages on, I will sit down to our Thanksgiving meal grateful for Sumner Academy and knowing we are doing what is best for our children.

Our mission is to discover and cultivate each child’s unique abilities.

Snow Day? A retro blog about decision making.

Anatomy of a Snow Day

Recently, Amy and I were able to drive to my hometown of Kalamazoo, Michigan to visit with my mother and two brothers.  It was a great drive and as we were approaching the Michigan state line, we began to see traces of snow on the ground!  That was a great reminder to me to let you know of my thought process in determining what constitutes a snow day and what does not.

The decision making process is different for our school in comparison to other surrounding independent schools and public schools.  Things I do have to consider include our faculty and staff driving in, our parents and their drive in, our bus routes and safe pick up and delivery, and the safety in and around the campus.  One thing I do not have to consider is having student drivers on the road!  Our school calendar and the required number of days in attendance does not play a role in closing school, safety always comes first.  There is a process regarding make up days should we go over the amount of extra days.  This is highly unlikely however.

If we do not close and the roads are questionable, our students are not counted tardy for that day.  I want your child(ren) at school, but I want them safely brought to school, so take your time!

When our area anticipates wintery weather, I rise at 5:00 AM or earlier and check the local news and the radar and forecast on the National Weather Service website.  Since our decision is independent of all other schools, I like to make sure all bases are covered before I make a final decision.  The first call I make is to Hannah so we can update our website and send out notices via email and text.  Next, I call four local television stations Channels 2, 4, 5, and 17.  In my experience in Memphis, I know that television stations are not the most reliable in regards to timely posting…so check our website first!

At this point it is around 6:15 or 6:30 and I have another decision to make – stay home and sit by the fire, or go in to work and complete some much needed paperwork that has built up over the last several weeks.  Sometimes, I choose to drive in just because I’m from Michigan and need to prove it to myself I can still drive in snow and ice.  So, if you see me in a ditch somewhere, just shake your head as you pass.  Stubborn Michigander.

I hope this gives you some insight into how I make the decision to close or stay open.  As you read, the fastest way to find out is to check our website at www.sumneracademy.org.

Take Care Now

So, we were ready to have a big week of fun and excitement for my wife’s fifty-fourth birthday.  The week included dinner out, tickets to see Josh Turner at the Ryman, and then head The Grove in Oxford, Mississippi Saturday for some tailgating with her family and rooting the Volunteers on.  One perforated appendix had other ideas.

In the early morning hours of her birthday, she complained of severe abdominal pain.  Our daughter, Madelyn, had surprised her Sunday by coming home for the celebration.  Instead, she ended up taking her mother to the doctor’s office.  An ultrasound was ordered for later that afternoon.  The initial reading of the ultrasound was inconclusive.  We were told if the pain became unbearable, head to the emergency room.  The next morning it was, we were in the Skyline Medical Center’s ER at 6:00 AM.  We had six, yes, six, nurses/techs/doctors there taking care of Amy.  Another ultrasound and a CT was ordered and it was still inconclusive, but many possibilities were thrown out.  We were admitted and in a room by 11:00 AM.  The two main nurses we had, Jackie during the day and Michael at night, showed exceptional care.  They both went above and beyond the call of duty in their caring and attention to detail.  Especially since it took the surgeon nine hours to consult with us.

That’s when it hit me.

I was seeing in this hospital setting the same thing our parents share with me regularly about Sumner Academy.  The teachers go well above and beyond the call of duty in their caring and attention to detail.  I have termed this practice, “prescriptive education.”  Since the founding of the school, the vision and mission has not wavered, “Our mission is to discover and cultivate each child’s unique abilities.”

Postscript:

Amy has healed completely thanks to the attention and care she received at Skyline Medical Center.  Our students continue to reap the benefits of a Sumner Academy education including the attention and care they receive fro each and every faculty member here.

Safe at Home

Since my beloved Detroit Tigers are no longer playing baseball, I will uncharacteristically refrain from making a sports analogy with my blog title.

Where do you feel the safest?  When we were growing up, most likely, it was home with your parents.  It was a safe, nurturing, and loving environment and you just had the feeling that all was well when you were there.

We hear the same words to describe Sumner Academy from our parents.  They consistently report how their children feel safe, nurtured, and loved in our learning environment.  Most of these feelings come from the classroom.  Our students trust their teachers and perform for them academically in a way I have not experienced in my thirty-plus years in education.  Meeting this basic need allows our children to grow academically, socially, and physically without having to worry about being safe.

Being safe in schools has become more and more a topic of concern.  Moving here in the summer of 2013, one of the first local school articles I read was about the Sumner County Schools hiring resource police officers in every school.  They trumpeted this as a good thing.  I have been told this line item is close to a one million dollar cost per year.  What a disappointing commentary on today’s society.

When parents drop off their children at Sumner Academy, they have the knowledge, trust, and confidence that they will be safe.  Last year, the entire faculty and staff was involved in writing the school’s first Crisis Action Guide.  In the unlikely event of a crisis on campus, the guide gives a step-by-step process to follow.  Much time and energy (and cost) went into the publication of this guide which can be found in every room on campus.

We appreciate the way our parents care for our school and hope that they are able to convey that feeling to others who may be interested in becoming part of the Sumner Academy Family.

Headmaster Gets Schooled

Professional development for me comes in different ways.  Being able to attend a national conference isn’t something that I can do budget-wise every year.  In mid-July thousands of elementary and middle school principals met at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel for the National Association of Elementary School Principal’s National Conference (insert your own joke here).  Having the conference thirty miles away was a real blessing.

It was my fourth such conference and a great chance for me to see outstanding speakers, hear what is going on with various colleagues around the country, and witness what impact national policies and legislation is having on elementary principals.  As an independent school leader, I was definitely in the minority by about 99.5% to 00.5%.  It was refreshing for me not to have to attend Common Core themed discussions and presentations which dominated the agenda. 

Instead, I heard one of the best presentations ever by Robert Fulghum who authored the best seller, “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”  He told a beautiful story about his neighborhood elementary school.  During his morning walks, he always knows what season it is by what is displayed on the windows of the classrooms.  From fall leaves, to pumpkins, to snowflakes, the seasons are all on display.  On one such occasion, he ran into the principal, a very busy man, and mentioned the beautiful snowflakes.  The principal replied, what beautiful snowflakes?  Mr. Fulghum walked him to the nearest kindergarten snowflakes window display which the principal had never noticed.  They both stood there and enjoyed the sight.  The message here is for more than just principals: Don’t miss the snowflakes.

Todd Whitaker is a highly sought after speaker and former principal.  He concentrates his messages on moving ordinary schools to extraordinary ones.  Schools which are extraordinary shape a vision of academic success for each student (sound familiar?).  He also stated that schools that are extraordinary keep the needs of the students first in all they do.  It is so refreshing to hear what we do at our school being espoused on a national stage.

Finally, Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor held a session championing iCivics.  This is a web based civics program for middle and high schools.  Still sharp as a tack at 84, she told of not being able to find a job after law school due to her gender. She eventually found employment as a deputy county attorney in San Mateo County, California after she offered to work for no salary and without an office and sharing space with a secretary.  Her message to us was the importance of civics in the curriculum.  It was a personal delight for me to meet her afterward and have her sign some books.  The Secret Service was very careful to explain how to have the books out, don’t ask for the book to be personalized, and keep moving.  It was a bit like the soup line in a Seinfeld episode.  When she noticed I had bought a hard back copy, she asked who it was for.  I told her it was for my son Tucker who teaches history and government in high school.  We had a nice talk about Tucker before the next person came up.  When I looked in his book later, I noticed she personalized it and wrote a sweet note.  I hope the Secret Service doesn’t read this blog.

Learning never ends, even for headmasters.  This love of lifelong learning is something we are instilling in each of our students here at Sumner Academy.

Seven Common Parenting Mistakes

I have never claimed to be the perfect parent.  Usually, the perfect parenting moment for me arrives just after I made a not-so-perfect parental decision.  I do like to read advice on parenting and pass along those that I feel strike a nerve with me, and maybe you as the reader.

Dr. Tim Elmore is an expert in the transition of children becoming adults.  He has written over twenty-five books and founded Growing Leaders http://growingleaders.com/ which is dedicated to mentoring today’s young people to become the leaders of tomorrow.  Here is his take on some parental behaviors which keep our children from growing into leaders:

Ø  We don’t let our children experience risk.  Children should be able to fail without parental interference.  We have all heard about helicopter parents…sometimes you need to turn off the key and let your child crash.  (this is probably the hardest thing as a parent to do)

Ø  We rescue too quickly.  It is human nature to swoop in and protect our children.  As in the first point, we are removing the child’s ability to navigate choppy waters on their own.  We need to remember that children are often much more resilient than we are as adults.

Ø  We rave too easily.  Face Book posts are such a culprit here.  When our children hear us constantly rave and sometimes downplay poor behavior, children often avoid difficult realities and can resort to lying and cheating. 

Ø  We let guilt get in the way of learning well.  Children can get over disappointments in life, but it is much more difficult to get over being spoiled.  Material rewards for something like good grades takes away any possibility of intrinsic motivation or unconditional love.

Ø  We don’t share our past mistakes.  Teenagers will push the envelope.  These may be the very envelopes you pushed when you were there age.  “Life lessons” are more meaningful when it is YOUR life as their parent.  Share your feelings on how you felt in a break-up, or being left out of a party.

Ø  We mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity.  Children learn and grow at different rates.  Keep from comparing your child to those around them.  There is no magic age of responsibility and research shows that the brain is not fully developed until the ages of 20-23.

Ø  We don’t practice what we preach.  We need to model the life we want our children to live.  If that means praying before a meal in a crowded restaurant, then those behaviors must be modeled by you.  Be mindful of those ethical choices that are before you…there are always another set of eyes or two watching what you will do.

One of Dr. Elmore’s favorite lines is, “coach them, more than coddle.”  There are many moments in the past I would have loved to practice these but failed in doing so.  Perhaps we can allow our parents, our children’s grandparents to display these seven mistakes!

My next blog will discuss some thoughts from attending the National Association of Elementary School Principals Conference held right here in Central Tennessee!